Nisha Grayson identifies as an international, transracial adoptee from Goa, India. Preferred gender pronouns are she, her, hers.
After the making of YOU FOLLOW: a search for one’s past, Nisha was invited to speak on panels at adoption conferences, and write book and film reviews for the PACT an Adoption Alliance Newsletter and the The Adoption Museum Project. She volunteers as a support group facilitator.
The Adoptee Diary began as a public platform for Nisha to share her personal feelings, experiences, and perspective. After a couple of years of personal and professional work around adoption and listening to her close adopted friends, she felt the need to expand her personal diary to also include resources for her fellow adoptees, first/ birth families, prospective adoptive parents, adoptive parents of children/adults, and for those not touched by adoption.
Nisha has collected an extensive list of articles, blogs, films, and more by ADOPTEES through her social media pages/private groups, conferences, scholars and friends.
She is always welcoming new updates, so please share your ideas/artwork/resources via email
Nishagrayson@gmail.com
The Adoptee Diary 
Hello Nisha, I am an adoptive parent of two children born in S. Korea. They are now 26 and 27 years old. I am so sorry you have had such a lack of understanding from your parents. A huge part of the problem is the fault of adoption agencies which as you say are in it for the money and not with the needs of the birth families, adoptive families, or most importantly, the needs of the child. We were fortunate to work with an agency which required all of its applicants to attend 16 hours of parent training and preparation workshops. This was not about learning to change diapers. It was to expose us to the kinds of reactions we could expect from people who saw our transracial family and how to respond to ignorant, obnoxious, and even well -intentioned but insensitive comments and questions in ways that would protect our children’s feelings first. They also taught us the necessity of seeking out people who shared our children’s birth culture, sending our kids to culture camp to learn about their birth culture and making friends with other families who looked like ours. I visited my children’s classrooms from pre -K through 6th grade and talked about adoption and Korean culture to familiarize their classmates to the reasons our family looked “different “. I know this introduction helped their classmates to appreciate who they were and helped everyone see how much more alike than different they really were. Ignorance fosters fear and I am so sad that your parents appear to this day to be afraid to face and embrace all of who you are. Perhaps patience and subtlety is not going to cut it in your case. Maybe a more direct approach, that doesn’t hide your pain and anger is called for? Of course that’s entirely up to you, but it seems to me it’s long past time for your mom and dad to face the full impact of their choice all those years ago. It’s not about blaming them. It’s about teaching them so you can finally have a real, honest relationship with them. None of my business of course. But please know that there are good agencies out there who put the child first and parents who did our best to teach our kids who they are. I wish you much happiness. You deserve it.
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Hi Nisha. thank your for having your story online for me to find. I am half Goan. My mom is from Goa and she was adopted too. I sent you a private message via Facebook. It should be in your “other messages” folder. I hope you can send me some information about Your Follow. Anyway…. I wish you peace and all the happiness in the world.
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I hope you will seek out other adoptees, probably on Facebook. There are hundreds, thousands of us with feelings just like yours and experiences exactly like yours. You may feel alone but you are not alone. Just wanted you to know that.
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Yes, I am finally aware that I am not alone. It wasn’t until about five years ago that I began to seek out other adoptees. I have created a pretty awesome circle of adoptees/friends. I have even got to the point where I have been connected to other adoptees from my orphanage via FB. I count myself fortunate to have support close by in my city and other surrounding cities. Not all adoptees of color have that.
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Thanks Nisha I have never felt compelled to seek out other adoptees, but after reading several blogs today, and realising that there are common emotions around similar events, such as Birthdays, then i am about to venture into the realm of adoptee-friends, is that a word? Blessings and maybe I will see you in another cirlce soon. Joy
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Hello Joy, I grew up in a similar situation. I didnt really know other adoptees besides my distant cousins and I didnt seek them out either. It wasnt until I found others like myself that I realized that I always needed to know and have friendships with other adoptees. Im glad to read that you are exploring this wonderful and abundant community of writers, filmmakers, stage performers, painters all expressing how they are processing their adoption experience. Thank you for commenting and I am so glad that you found my blog. 🙂
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Hi Nisha!
My name is Heather and I work with Michelle Madrid-Branch who is an international adoptee, adoptive mother, author, and speaker. Michelle and I share the voices of all those in the adoption triad on her website, MichelleMadridBranch.com.
We would be honored to have you guest blog on Michelle’s site. Your story and wisdom would be of great value to our adoption community. Please let me know if that is something you are interested in, or if you have any questions.
You can reach me at Heather@MichelleMadridBranch.com.
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